You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.  Brene Brown

Long time ago at the beginning of my professional legal career one MB member of company I had been working with came to my office late night once I had been still there working. We spoke about kids and life and I explained to him what I am working on once my child is at home sick. He did a great favour for me by recommending amazingly good doctor for my child. He did also another thing by saying that: Nobody is perfect. The second thought I understood many years after that moment.

Perfectionism saved me from drowning, but it didn’t help me to swim. I was treading water, staying safe, and desperately trying to control my reality, which is never truly possible. I had been never satisfied by anything less than perfection, never satisfied with my success. Becoming depressed when faced with failure or disappointment and becoming overly defensive when criticized. What I realized later was at the heart of perfectionism is the desire for love and acceptance. A very common defense against shame is the drive for perfection.

I have been extremely lucky to meet a lot of good people on my life journey and also I am still working on my emotional development. Somewhere along my journey I learned how to setting standards that are still high but within reach and enjoying process as well as outcome small and big one. I am trying to bouncing back quickly from failure or disappointment and see mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. There is no shame in mistakes, just an opportunity to grow.

Improving your self-acceptance or self-compassion is the way forward to overcoming self-blaming tendencies and overcoming perfectionism and hidden shame of failure.